New mama, new baby, new isolation
By Kailah Cuckson
When you become a parent, everything changes. You can read all the books, watch all the movies, and listen to all the Ted Talks—but the realities of parenthood often still come as a surprise—even for parents who already have kids.
Movies would have you believe that having a new baby is all cuddles and a total lack of sleep. While this is true, you might be surprised to see just how many other changes there are. When you’re running on “Newborn Time”, you might find yourself struggling to remember when you last spoke to someone other than your baby. With all of the nappies, naps, and feeding times, it is easy to fall out of touch with the people that you used to speak to daily and it’s during the postnatal period that you are likely to fall out of contact with the people you love during the time when you need them the most.
Having a baby in the house can shake things up and during these strange, unusual, and beautiful times, you need a community that you can depend on.
Parenthood comes with so much beauty, but it is not without its challenges. New mamas find themselves running on barely any sleep. You’re more likely to be more low on energy, and things like taking a shower and eating a full and balanced meal can go out the window. A study with postpartum women found that energy levels for women can stay low for up to 19 months after giving birth!
What happens when we don’t eat well, don’t sleep well, and don’t have time to talk to the people we love? Well, we can end up pretty unhappy. Fortunately, a social circle might just be the difference between you being able to enjoy motherhood and you having a fairly pessimistic attitude about it. Studies show that mothers with more support feel happier and more optimistic about parenthood in general.
Since community can have such a big impact on how women feel about being mothers, women should absolutely be striving to build a community to see them through their new journey. The question is: how?
The truth is that everyone has a different support network. You might be able to explain these studies to your loved ones and get them to rally around you—or you might need to connect with some other mamas who actually understand what you are going through. Whether you find an online circle, connect with friends and family, or sign up for a weekly yoga class for new mums, you want to find your village. Support makes us happy—and it reminds us to focus on the good.
Life after having a baby is something that you can really only understand if you have been through it. For many new mamas, this can be fairly isolating. No matter how high that pile of nappies gets or how little sleep you get, you want the right people to help support you through it.
Raising Mamas help mums to find their village and get support during their postpartum journey. They know just how much a tight-knit community can mean during those early months, and would love to help you find one of your own! www.raisingmamas.com.au